Saturday, 25 December 2010

Merry Christmas from Madame

I could show you how darn cute Madame was in her Christmas morning PJs before we opened Christmas gifts

Or her mad unwrapping skills (pretty impressive considering that she just shy of six months)

Or true to form the box is ALWAYS more exciting than the present.

But the photo that will define Jocelynne's first Christmas?

Turns out sweet pickles seem to be Jocelynne's favorite food. No making gross faces, no throwing it on the floor just gnawing on it for a good 5-10 minutes till it was too soft and she wanted another one. Yeah trust my kid to be strange like that.

Friday, 24 December 2010

Merry Christmas Jocelynne

Dear Jocelynne,

A little note on Christmas Eve for my dearest Madame.

Today you mastered rolling from your tummy to your back. Unlike when you learned to roll from your back to your tummy almost two weeks ago you just up and decided to do it. No teasing us for weeks being close but not quite, no only doing it when no one was watch for the first week, nope you just flipped over like you had been doing it all your life right in front of the whole extended family the first time. Then the second third and fourth time in rapid secession.

You are working very hard on sitting. Your not quite sure how this is going to come in handy yet and every time I put you down on the floor in a sit you look at me like "but mom rolling around on the floor is MUCH more fun" Your learning seems to be exponential and each thing you pick up faster and faster. Just remember while I am so proud of you there is no rush you have your whole life ahead of you, you can stay my baby for a few more minutes.

I am so impressed at how social you are, you have been so excited to meet the extended family and love all the attention you get from them.

Chilling with your Uncle Gabe.

Getting some luvin from Great Auntie Net

Meeting Great Grandma Anderson for the first time a few days ago.

You with your Uncle Camron.

Finally on Christmas Eve we know Daddy is missing the fact that he can't be with you even though he loves you very much so we thought we would wrap him up a special present and send it his way.


Thursday, 23 December 2010

Getting to know you

The best part of being home this holiday season is that Madame has been able to meet so much of my family. My mom was kind enough to take us up to meet up with my cousin Tiffany who is visiting her in laws not far from us and her little boy Lucas who is six months older than Madame. Not only did Madame get a kick out of sitting in a high chair for the first time, but she could not get enough of her new friend. She loved to watch what ever he was doing and would hold her hand out and Lucas would take it and hold on to it. They even swapped toys for a while, very cute to watch. Afterward Madame was well and truly worn out and slept for the over an hour drive home.

Thursday, 16 December 2010

Get Them Addicted Young

So Mama has an addiction that she only gets to feed every few years when she come back to the US to visit. Sonic's Cranberry Limeade. Oh so yummy, I craved them so bad when I was pregnant with Madame I made fake ones at home but they were just never as good. Figured I might as well get Madame addicted while we were here.

(No Sonic Cranberry Limeades were harmed in the taking of these photos)

Monday, 13 December 2010

Madame's Monday Update

Dear Jocelynne,
I took this photo to send to daddy (to show your true allegiance was still with him of course) and two minutes later after I had finished I came back to this
Yup we have a roller, you could have waited for mama so she could see it in person!

Thursday, 9 December 2010

Madame's Got a Brand New Ride

Now I love our gigantic three wheeler SUV of a pushchair we have in the UK, nearly all of he miles I post about walking in Fitness Fridays it has done with me. The problem was even with travel insurance if something happened to it while it was in the cargo hold of the plane the excess was half of what we paid for the pushchair. There was also a space issues with my MIL flying out with us; that was three large suitcases, three carry on items, two adults and a baby with a car seat. That kind of pushed my parents two Ford Focus' to the max space wise.

I was not too worried about going out and about shopping and such with the slings I have carried her for long periods in our ring sling and even thought I had only had a few chances to use the Mei Tai I was sure it would offer the same support. The problem I ran into was our walks. In Kansas a lot of the time it is cold enough that both Madame and Mama would need to be bundled up quite and bit and this is one of the areas that slings and wraps let you down in. It took me all of about two days without a walk to break down and find an inexpensive umbrella stroller online in the sales.

Madame loves the fact that walks are back on the table! The weather has been decent and actually in the picture she is probably over dressed for the 40ish degree weather we were out in.

The advantages to this stroller is I can check it at the gate on the return trip home so it does not go through being put in the cargo hold and while I certainly want to get it home in one piece I also paid less than $30 for it so if something were to happen to it I would be a lot less devastated than if something were to happen to my beloved Phil and Ted SUV of a pushchair. It will also come in handy for trips up to London on public transport. I have used the Phil and Ted on the buses as they have a dedicated area for prams and pushchairs but the thought of using the Tube with a large pushchair scared the crap out of me. I am looking forward to giving it a go when we get back to the UK and the weather improves!

Tuesday, 7 December 2010

Never Get Tired

Of seeing Madame's cute little tushie in cute cloth diapers! Some people doing for the green factor, some the cost factor, me I do it for the cuteness factor. Okay a little for the cost and green factor but not as much as the cute factor.

Monday, 6 December 2010

Madame's Monday Update American Edition

Uncle Grant getting you started early on family game night.

Dear Jocelynne,

We have not done an update for so long I feel like a bad mommy. We made it to the US just fine you did so good on the plane from London Heathrow we were able to get you a seat and you fell asleep in your car seat just as the plane engines roared to life for take off. No problem with take of or landing pressure changes thank goodness. You did have a small melt down when we got on the plane from Dallas to Wichita but once we started taking off you decided to feed and were out the rest of the way.

You had a great time getting passed around on Thanksgiving and meeting so much of your family. I was surprised at how easy you went to everybody but you just took it all in.

You have started to become more willful in the last week or so, you very much let me know when you don't want to do something whether it is a diaper change or going to bed or being put down while I do something. Part of it is funny to watch but I see a very strong willed little girl coming out!

I tried at a couple of meals to introduce to you food and Baby Led Weaning but you were more interested in the forks everyone else was using. I guess your not ready yet, we will give it another go in a few weeks.

You love your Grandma and Grandpa America so much, you especially have your Grandpa America wrapped round your finger. We went with them to church on Sunday and Grandpa took you from person to person telling them all that this was his grand daughter Jocelynne. He was so proud of you!

Saturday, 4 December 2010

Dear Daddy

Dear Daddy,

Today was a busy day. I tried toast for the first time, I have learned that toast sticks are good for crushing into crumbs in your hand, rubbing into your clothes, and for throwing on the ground. Eating them I am not so interested in so it a good thing I still have Mama around.

I got dressed up in a festive outfit for the first time

and then supervised Grandma decorating the tree, I was quite mesmerised by the fact that the tree rotates round and round!

Later in the afternoon when Grandma and Mama went to get cat food and drinks from Sonic I stayed with Grandpa and Zadie Mae and they helped me with my rolling over. I am getting pretty good at it but still need some help, I think any day now I will be able to do it myself.

I miss you and Mr. Kitty lots, hugs and really slobbery kisses,


The Adventures of Madame and her Magical Sling Mei Tai Style

Madame got a new sling! So she thought she would use it at Heathrow airport on her way to see Grandma and Grandpa America!
Snoozin in the new BabyHawk Mei Tai

Friday, 3 December 2010

Fitness Friday

Fitness Fridays are on hiatus while Madame and I are in the US. I am still tracking my food using WW and using my parent's scales. I am still loosing some weight it looks like according to the scales but I don't post anything but when I go to my WW weigh in as all scales are slightly different. My goal while I am at home over the holidays is to maintain the 170lb I had gotten down to before I left for the states, if I loose weight it is a bonus but I did not want to put too much pressure on myself while on vacation over the holiday season. We will see you again second week of January!

Friday, 12 November 2010

Fitness Fridays

A very nice loss of loss of 2lbs this week. This was mostly due to keeping my points in track this week. Walking was bad, a number or extremely stormy days led to a couple of stay at home all day kind of days.

Weight Watchers has completely changed how point values are now assigned and while a lot of the changes are exciting i.e fruit is now for the most part a zero point food, I am also a little nervous. After Madame was born one of the huge draws about going back to WW was I already knew how to do it. I had been doing it on and off for over a year before Madame was conceived so as a sleep deprived new mother I didn't need to really learn anything new. I needed to brush up on portion sizes and what the point values of my favorite foods were but on a whole I knew what worked for me. I am hoping I can take this on board and that it can help me to continue to loose weight and keep me motivated to make it to my final goal weight.

Starting Weight September 8th: 186lbs
Weight November 12: 173lbs

Total Loss 13lbs


Weather was crap and I can't be bothered to reveil how bad some of the days were so maybe just an average to give you and idea. 2.5 was the average mileage for the week I knew it would be tough when the weather got bad and this week proved that. I have never bothered to calculate my activity points for the reason that I don't want to be tempted to use them as food points. I am loosing weight at a nice steady weight staying with in my normal points allowance so this week proves that while exercise is important that it is possible to loose even when you can't get as much activity in as you want.

Better Food Choices:

I am really excited that fruit is now a 0 point option. It makes it easier to fit it into the daily allowance of points and now make it more tempting than say a Weight Watchers Biscuit that would have the same point value on the old points system. I just need to work on making it a priority, I am going to start trying to add banana to my porridge each morning so that is one serving down!

Sunday, 7 November 2010

Fitness Fridays (running a bit late)

Well as per par I usually follow a big loss week with no loss or only a small loss this weeks .5lb loss brings me to 11lbs loss so far. Looking at the big picture that is 11lbs in 2 months which is a nice slow steady weight loss, slow and steady is not only important in the long run for keeping it off but also as a breastfeeding mother. Making to much of a drastic cut in my calorie intake could affect my milk production and right now being mama cow for Madame is my most important roll.


Friday 8

Saturday 6

Sunday 2.5

Monday 5.6

Tuesday 2.5

Wednesday 5.6

Thursday 8.5

An overall average of 4.75 for the week which is just shy of the 5 mile average I am aiming for but on a whole I am happy. One of the 2.5 days was due to weather, and one was due to too many activities that required me to drive due to distance. With the nights drawing in I am not sure how walks are going to work as I will need to restructure my days a little as our big walk was usually late afternoon. I am also facing 6 weeks in the US without a pushchair and weather that will be too bitter to walk with Madame so while I will wear the pedometer and get my miles in where I can I am also looking at using my parent exercise bike and I am not sure really how to track that? Time? Distance? I am going to have to play around and find out what works for me.

Eating Healthier Options:

My fruit consumption on a whole was down this week. Not as bad as some weeks but not as good as last week. I did manage however to get both my apples cut up so I felt good about that.

Saturday, 6 November 2010

One Year Ago Today

I woke up to this

This morning I woke up to this!

Monday, 1 November 2010

Madame's Monday Update

Wearing Grandma America's favorite colour in honour of the fact that we will be in Kansas with her and Grandpa America three weeks form today.

Dear Jocelynne,

I can't believe how much you make me laugh. We laugh everyday, you start laughing, which makes me laugh and you laugh harder in response. Sometimes you start to get fussy when you can't do something you want and I laugh at you and then you start laughing.

You have started to become such a Daddy's girl, he walks in the room and your face lights up and you give him a big grin. Saturday as we walked the High Street on errands with Daddy no matter what side of Mommy he walked on you turned your head and watched him the whole time, when he would look at you, you would flash him your killer smile.

You have found you legs and you feet, it is so funny to watch you swing them up from your hips and almost over you head. You also love to grab things now and as soon as you have hold it is shoved right in you mouth.

I love every moment of the adventure!


Sunday, 31 October 2010

Happy Halloween

With a WHOLE lot of day glo pink Madame wishes you a Happy Halloween!

Halloween Taster

Just a few quick photos of Madame in her Halloween Nappies. More photos of her in her costume when we get back from Sunday dinner with the family

Saturday, 30 October 2010

Letting Your Freak Flag Fly and Tooting Your Own Dork Horn

It is the most wonderful time of the year! It is time for the annual DorkFest at The Life and Times of Micheal 5000 blog. This is my third year competing though last year my effort was pitiful. This year I just want to make few points before I begin my official entry.

  1. As my bribe to Supreme Dork and Judge arrived one business day too late to be included in last years DorkFest I would appreciate if you wouldn't mind carrying over said bribe to this years DorkFest.
  2. Jenners, you have every reason to seethe you should ascend to Dork just because you were Vice Dork but as you can't I would appreciate your influence in the conclave to choose the next Dork. Why you ask? I quote "And whoever was worried about having missed Dorkfest deserves to be the Dork for 2010. That's my (seething) two cents." Yup that frantic e-mail was mine.
  3. I not only asked for the Dork badge but proudly posted it on my blog, am posting my entry on my blog, and have link to DorkFest on Facebook. In short I am not afraid to fly my Freak Flag in public not just to the other readership of L&TM5K who share my dorkiness.

So without further adieu and in the style of Mastermind my chosen specialist subject being pregnancy, birth and what comes next, let the games begin.

I embody dorkiness by __________

General Knowledge:

  • Tony Blair had a Deputy PM John Prescott, not really sure what he did other than look after the job when Tony went on holiday each year. When Tony Blair stepped down he did not become PM he just I don't know went back to being a MP for his constituency. Gordon Brown never had a Deputy PM so I am guessing that he didn't feel he needed one. He just had a few different people look after the country while he was on holiday. Then when David Cameron won the popular vote but didn't get the majority in the Houses of Parliament he needed so he formed a coalition with the Liberal Democrats and Nick Clegg. One of the condition from Nicky Boy was that he got to be Deputy PM. When I started asking around as how, when, why and such a deputy PM is appointed no one could tell me. Sometimes there is one sometimes not, no rhyme no reason, this bothers me
  • When the General Election mud slinging started and I could not bear anymore election crap I entertained myself with the choice of tie colours by the candidates, I even wrote a post about it after the elections.
  • When the election led to a new party in power and a new cabinet my friend and I cut out the cheat sheet of who got what job from the newspaper so we would be able to identify them on Sky News and would quiz each other at work when it was slow. We all know there is nothing worse than confusing the Education Minister and the Foreign Minister.
  • I really don't like mayo, like really find the whole idea gross, but I like tuna sandwiches so we have an uneasy truce but I need to buy it in a squeeze bottle because I can't bear the thought it might touch my skin if I dip the spoon into a jar. The squeeze bottle irritates me though because you can never get the last bit out. Plus there is the cost factor the convenience of squeeze means it cost more. Sometimes I can't choose between cost and possible skin contact.
  • I don't believe nuts belong in fudge. It is a mouth feel issue, fudge is smooth and the smoothness gets interrupted by the nuts. Cookies, brownies and cakes are already chunky in their own way and so the nuts add something and enhance the product.
  • I empathize with others style of dorkiness and even bring to their attention when I have seen something that falls under their specialist dork subject just ask M5K how many blog posts I have e-mailed him about geography, maps, quilting, and even High Fructose Corn Syrup.

Specialist Subject

  • I am bilingual, I speak both the Queen's English and American English, having a baby brought a whole new set of vocabulary that I was not use to using but feel I have gotten a good grasp on prams, pushchairs, baby grows, nappies, dummies and grow bags.
  • On the first night at our birth class I was the only person in the group who could place all the labels on the diagram of a nine month pregnant woman. Do you know where your cervix is?
  • After we had all had our babies 3 of the other 7 women in the group admitted that they didn't even bother to read any books on birth because they knew they could just txt, call or e-mail me any question and I always had an answer.
  • When the anaesthesiologist came in to give me my epidural he started out by saying he had to go through all the information and risks and have me sign that I understood. I told him to shut up give me the paper to sign as I had read all the possible risk factors and how the procedure worked months ago and give me the &%$£ing drugs.
  • After reading every book I could get my hands on about pregnancy and birth both while we were where trying to get pregnant and after I fell pregnant when they put a very squishy Madame on my tummy the moment she was born I realized I had over looked reading books on babies. Oops. I had read books on parenting, on sleep issues in babies, on breastfeeding, and on Baby Led Weaning but actual babies yup I missed those.
  • I researched extensively on cloth diapers looked at all the different styles prefolds, fitted, All in Twos, All in Ones, different brands what worked best for different situations. I can tell you all about how to wash what types of detergent and why, how to strip them. The difference between washing them in an agitating machine or a HE machine. What problems hard water brings to the washing scenario and how to fix it.

I hope that this year I move a small step closer grabbing the title of Right Honourable Dork but until that moment I will just continue tooting my own Dork horn.

Friday, 29 October 2010

Fitness Fridays

It was really hard this week, really really hard this week, like I wanted to snarf whole cakes in one sitting hard this week. I didn't though I let myself have an off week last week with all the events going on and I know if I don't hop right back on the band wagon it will take me six months to get back on it. So I tracked all my food like a good little Weight Watchers girl and I was rewarded with a loss of 2lbs (but to be honest I think I would have been happier with the cake).


Um so had a hard time remembering to write my mileage down because well I have a three month old and some times I get to use that excuse. I did not go out for walks on Saturday and Sunday but the other five days of the week I did between 5-6 miles everyday. This worked well for me and while it left me at least 6-8 miles short of my weekly average of 5 miles a day I am not fretting about it, I was happy, Madame was happy, enough said. Back on the Mileage tracking this week though.

Making Healthier Food Choices

I may have dropped the walking or at least tracking of the walking ball this week but man did I nail the fruit eating. I am proud to say that everyday I managed two portions of fruit on top of the veg I am already decent about consuming. They were the same two things everyday a banana and 3 small plums but hey you gotta start some where. I even bought two pink lady apples yesterday because I AM going to make time to cut them up.

Wednesday, 27 October 2010

So it Begins

Click on the badge for all the rules and check the comment section of the post for the first of the entries! My entry is in the works and coming soon!

Monday, 25 October 2010

Madame's Monday Update

Styling in your OshKosh B'gosh overalls from Grandpa America!

Dear Jocelynne,

We have had an over all grisly week, or it would probably be more true to say we have had a Mama just does not get the signals your sending week. Example, you were so happy the first few times I had you in the pushchair in the angled sitting position and then this week putting you in the pushchair became a chore. You would squirm and grunt and grisle and at best put up with it but were not your happy and content self that you usually are in the pushchair. In a rush over the weekend I left it in the flat position from a nap the day before and viola my happy pushchair girl was back, maybe you were not as ready as I thought to be in the sitting up position.

I also got a reality check in Child Led parenting vs sometimes I need to try things that may not seem like they are Child Led but may end up being the best option for you because I am after all the parent and responsible for your care parenting. You started waking every two hours in the night again, having a hard time settling down for the night and naps had gone back to the 1-2 30min power naps a day. I could deal with the waking ever two hours and even the power napping if it was working but the grisly child I had told me it wasn't and to be quite honest waking every two hours in the night makes for a grisly mama as well. After the third night when I was pretty sure it was not a growth spurt I realized that you were not feeding much during the day, I am not sure if this was of your own accord or if I had let things become so busy that I was not giving you the chance to feed as much as you wanted. So after a few days of offering feedings every two hours during the day and you being happy to do a good session at those feeds you seem to have moved back into a good night time routine and are back to only waking twice through the night for feeds. I get the benefit of a happy baby in the morning and a good little napper.

Now that you have learned how to go stiff like a plank and also go all squirmy I feel like I have a little Churchill. "I will fight you on your lap, I will fight you on your shoulder, I will fight you in the bath tub, the push chair, and the car seat." I don't think you are doing it on purpose as you always seem to be in a good natured mood I think it is just you learning you have more control over your body and how you use it.

We have started to really push for you to go straight into your crib at night for bed instead of letting you fall asleep on our bed and then moving you. I have also started to try and get your to nap in the crib. It is all in preparation for our 6 week trip to go visit Grandma and Grandpa America, they own a dog who loves to give kisses so you falling asleep on you play mat or in you bouncy chair for naps may cause problems, plus its just the right thing to do for you I think it will be the right choice in the long run.

Love and Kisses,


Sunday, 24 October 2010

The Adventures of Madame and Her Magical Sling

My first experience of Baby Wearing was my youngest sister, my mom had a ring sling and she and Abbie loved it. It was a life saver in many respects for both of them. I too wore Abbie on occasion as I was 13 when she was born. Since then I have had friends who have worn their babies and while we were trying to get pregnant I started reading this blog which lead me to find Dr. Sears and the Attachment Parenting Movement. I had already decided I wanted to wear Madame after she was born but thanks to Meridith from Becoming Mamas and her amazing Baby Wearing Guide I chose to start out with a woven ring sling. My main reason for choosing a woven ring sling was simplicity, while I knew I could learn the wraps I also knew I was going to have TONS to learn as a new mother and I already knew how to work a ring sling, Philip also wanted to use it and I knew I could show him once or twice and he would pick it up easily. While I love my ring sling I also really want to try wrapping and even have my eye on Mei Tai's and other Soft Structure carriers.

While we use our ring sling on an almost daily basis around the house it also goes EVERYWHERE Madame and I go, even in the pushchair as a blankie, more in case she gets grisly in the pushchair then I have it with me to wear her while I push the empty pushchair, it has also been to some really fun places. I try to get a picture of either Philip or I wearing her when we are at the places of note and from time to time I will post them here. For the moment it is just the Ella Roo Woven Ring Sling, but hopefully soon I will have other wraps or slings to show as well.

So for today Madame and I on the sea wall at Paglesham the photos were taken on the last Monday in August, yes I am wearing a jumper the breeze from the sea can be brutal! As it looks weird I will explain in the second picture the white bit is Madame's bib, when I wear her I flip it up so it rests against me to catch any spit up before it hits me.

Friday, 22 October 2010

Fitness Fridays

I was not hoping for much this week and was even expecting to maybe gain some weight as a trip to London requires a trip to Lola's best cupcakes this side of the pond! Then Tuesday was the bake sale at my breastfeeding support group to support Breast Cancer Awareness month and seriously it would be rude not to buy a cupcake I struggled not to buy two! To top it off a lunch invitation to a friend's house required a batch of Red Velvet Cupcakes. While some of this was planned into my points, not all of it could be swallowed and I know the reason I still managed to loose a 1/2lb this week was my pavement pounding this week.

Weight loss this week .5lb

Total weight loss 8.5lb

Current weight 177.5


Friday 5.5

Saturday 6.5

Sunday 5.5

Monday 7

Tuesday 5.5

Wednesday 6

Thursday 6.5

This week for the first time since I set myself the goal of doing 5 miles a day I have actually done that every day for a week. Some weeks past I have averaged 5 miles a day due to a few large mileage days. I have to say it felt good and I was proud of myself but. . . . It was REALLY hard with Madame this week, one of the days we went out for a walk and she was grisly for no reason and I ended up heading home very quickly and was lucky enough to get a happier baby in the afternoon. The weather was amazing this week and I was able to dodge any bad weather with a lot of prep and keeping up with daily and hourly weather reports, this is something I can't really keep up on, I just don't have that kind of planning time at the moment. I have also let a lot of other balls drop in my life right now to make the walking work so I think maybe going for an average of 5 miles a day over a week is a better option, that way I can use Madame's good days and good weather days to my advantage. I can also use bad weather days to keep up with non exercise stuff.

Making better food choices:

Well if you read the first paragraph you will see that this week has been heavy on the goodies. I am still struggling with fruit, I am managing to get things like plums and banana's in about once a week. Unfortunately due to bonded front teeth I can't eat apples and pears whole and finding the time to cut them up just isn't working. I know I need to MAKE time but that is easier said than done as I still struggle to make food and food choices a priority. I will just have to keep trying. Philip is great at getting me out of a rut food wise and has been bringing in new more seasonal vegetables into our dinners. He made some rocking sweet potato wedges the other night and now all I can think of are sweet potatoes!

Wednesday, 20 October 2010

Rose Coloured Glasses

Parenting comes with a million decisions and from even before the birth you second guess if you are making the right ones. One decision I made a long time before I got pregnant probably from as early as childhood myself was that I was going to breastfeed. It was not really a decision so much as all I knew, my mother breastfed four children exclusively and only put my youngest sister on formula when she needed to treat post natal depression with prescription drugs. All of her friends breastfed and it just seemed normal. My decision was only further supported when I started reading up on how to breastfeed and the information on all the benefits.

So when Madame was born and I was already worried I might have chosen the wrong pushchair or if letting her co-sleep would lead to problems later on but I was not terribly worried about my decision to breastfeed. I though at any moment the ease that I had seen my mother feed her children would come and I would have a bond with my child due to the amazing gift I was giving her. Weeks passed and it didn’t come, sometimes in the dead of the night when I had only drifted off less than an hour before and her cries would come that she wanted more I would cry as I fed her from the shear exhaustion.

Every time she would spit up over and over again I would curse all those women and books who said breastfed babies spit up less than bottle fed babies. Curse every health professional who said it to my face as I tried to find help and make sure the spitting up was normal, especially the one who looked at me like as I was being melodramatic because everyone knows that yup you guessed it breastfed babies spit up less than bottle fed babies (props to Madame for soaking three outfits in rapid succession in front of this woman).

I cried to myself and to my mother on the phone because breastfeeding was suppose to make me love my baby more and sometimes I just really didn’t want to feed her, not that I didn’t love her or want the best for her but I just needed 5 minutes to think. I cried in private when one of the breastfeeding mothers from our birthing class complemented me for how easily I breastfed in public and managed to make it look easy because really I felt like I was falling apart and I was the last person she should look up to. I cried because it was suppose to get easier at six weeks and I held out and it didn’t feel like it did. I cried because my let down was so powerful it hurt and took my breath away

Then I stopped crying, I had options I could bottle feed no one was stopping me I CHOSE to breastfeed, I truly believe it is the best option for my baby. I took a long hard look and made some observations.

1. Maybe breastfed babies were suppose to spit up less, mine doesn’t. It doesn’t mean that she is not gaining all the other benefits from breastfeeding it just means I have more laundry to do. Bottle feeding would not make her less sickie and would probably make her more sickie.

2. 6 weeks is a figure that is thrown out there to when breastfeeding will become established, it is not a magic switch that goes off. To be honest I was established at 6 weeks, the ease and partnership between Madame, myself, and my breasts came it just didn’t come until some where around the 10th week really not that long is the scheme of my breastfeeding career with Madame or her life in general.

3. It was unfair to me to try and compare my lack of feeling ease with breastfeeding with the breastfeeding I remembered my mother doing as most of those memories came from my youngest brother who was my mother’s fourth child. On top of that my mother is a very different person than I am and has a selflessness I am just now starting to understand as a mother and am still years from even coming close to.

Last week that moment happened I had dreamed of happening, I pick up a warm still half sleeping baby at 10pm and she nuzzled in and latched on and in the dark room propped up on the bed she cuddled as she fed and I found peace.

Wordless Wednesday

Monday, 18 October 2010

Madame's Monday Update

Madame tries to snooze on the bus all wraped up snug!

Dear Jocelynne,

You and Mummy made our first trip to London without out our support team aka Daddy. You were perfect I could not have asked you to be better. It messed with you naps though as you tried to sleep on the train but woke as they announced each station, then tried to sleep on the bus in London but did not like the whoosh noise it made at each stop. You pretty much slept the whole rest of the next day to make up for lack of naps on Friday.

You are so interested in the world around you, where ever we go your eyes are open big and sometimes I think you might get whip lash as you whip you head this way and that trying to take everything in.

You have become interested in toys now and I have pick up some too keep you going until Santa brings you your Christmas presents.

I still can't believe how much fun I have with you every day!

Love Mummy

Sunday, 17 October 2010

All by Myself

Today for the first time since Madame was born I went for a walk all by myself. I have left her with Philip before now, or he has taken her out but I had never used this time specifically to go for a walk. Philip has prompted me in the last three months to do it but to be honest first I had to get over my irrational but real fear that if I left her and she wanted to be fed or needed me just me that the world would come to an end. Once this hurdle was passed and I was able to leave her with Philip for more than 10-15 mins I had become so use to my walks including Madame that when Philip would offer I honestly was not sure how to go for a walk without the pushchair, it had become a norm, and maybe even a crutch.

Today even though I tried my hardest to get out the door before Madame fell asleep for her morning nap it didn't happen. I knew our favorite route would be swamped with weekend walkers by the time she woke up from nap and they are the worse for not allowing room for the pushchair on the side walk so our walk would have been stop-start-stop-start due to full sidewalks. I made a split decision to ask Philip to keep her while I went for my walk.

Within the first block I didn't even realize that I was minus the pushchair as I had fallen into a pace that was much faster than I can seem to hit with the pushchair. As I approached the cliffs leading down to the seafront I realized I could take the stairs down instead of having to detour a few streets over to take the ramp. I also had the pleasure of getting the stairs back up the cliffs at the high street for which I am sure my bum will be thanking me for a few days time. Over all it was a good experience and one that I think I will have to repeat more often as I try to juggle my desire to be a good Mum to Madame but also to not loose my identity as more than just a mother.

Friday, 15 October 2010

Fitness Fridays

So I made my first visit to my new Weight Watchers group. I have the same leader that I had for Wednesday night meeting and I have to say that the other ladies (there were no men, this week at least) seemed really lovely and there was even another mother of a little girl just younger than Madame who is also doing WW while breastfeeding.

This week after tracking all but one meal that I ate at a friends house and couldn't really ask for nutritional information and working really hard on getting out to do at least 5miles a day I was able to loose 3lbs including the pound I gained last week which brings me down to 178lbs a total loss of 8lbs.


Saturday: 0 (I spent the day at a crafting crop and didn't bother to put my pedometer on)
Sunday: 6.7
Monday: 5.2
Tuesday: 4.0
Wednesday: 5.5
Thursday: 0 (forgot to put my pedometer on it was a bad day for walking I would guess2-3 miles)

I usually do my Monday 10mile route with another mother but missed it this week as Madame had her second set of immunizations. I have however on most days picked up the pack and am doing my miles faster, I think this is a result of putting Madame's pushchair in the upright position, it allowed me to have better posture and really have a go of it. I am back to my 10 mile route this Monday and really looking forward to it. I have also started looking into a group called Pushy Mothers which uses a trainer and incorporates more than just walking such as squats and other exercises.

Eating Better

The more fruit goal it still not going too well. I can't eat whole apples due to my front teeth being bonded and as I have little time to "prep" fruit i.e. peel, or chop. A lot of fruit is on my I like it but don't have time list. I have been eating plums and been getting some kiwis in as well. I have though been filtering out the crap and adding in more lean protein adding salads to almost every dinner and bulking up the "nutritious" part of my meals to use up my points. I have some white rice and pasta to use up in the cupboards and then I am looking at switching to brown rice and whole wheat pasta. I have also decided to use some of my extra points on food that in the past I have considered "sinful" but on some thought not as "sinful" and full of crap as a chocolate bar, say a small portion of cheese on things.

Wednesday, 13 October 2010


Over two year ago I joined Weight Watchers and posted this post. With the exception of my pregnancy I spent most of that two years with the same group and love the mainly ladies and a guy or two I see every week at my Wednesday evening meeting. After Madame was born I was itching to get back not just to loose weight but to catch up with all the ladies and have the friendships back.

In my mind Madame would just seamlessly fit in with the 7.15-8.15 meeting. I could take her feed her if needed during the meeting and if she fell asleep put her down in her car seat and carry her into her crib when we got home. I laugh at this thought now, Madame LOVES having a routine and that routine starts at 5.30 and she is asleep sometime between 6 and 7 depending on how tired she is and if she gets wind with her last feeding. This would still allow me time to make it to my meeting if my husband did not work late 90% of the time and not get home to watch Madame.

After much thought and deciding that Madame's routine was the most important thing and the benefits for her out weighed my selfish desire to stay with the group I had come to know and love. I have spoken with my leader and she does a morning meeting on Fridays and this Friday Madame and I will be attending.

I am not much good at carrying over from Friday to Wednesday so weigh in Wednesdays is no more. I am thinking something like Fitness Fridays or something on Saturdays. Last Thursday and Fridays mileage was 7.2 miles both days and I will start from last Saturday's mileage when when I post on Friday so it runs a week at a time.

Tuesday, 12 October 2010

3 Monthes

Jocelynne You are 3 months old today
We have pack away most of your 0-3 month clothes only a few are hanging on. We have pulled out a good amount of your 3-6 month clothes though you are so short that we have to roll up the pants legs.
You weigh 12lbs 5oz almost double your birth weight
I can't believe that now I give your age in months instead of weeks
You have had two lots of immunizations in the last month and have done amazing for both, no grizzles or grumps afterwards.
We have started a bedtime routine led by your cues and needs and for the last week you have been asleep by 7pm at the latest. You still wake around 11pm and 4 am for feeds but books I have been reading all say 1-2 feeds until you are as old as a year are normal although Mama is hoping you drop the 4am feed sooner.
You don't show much interest in rolling over, a couple of times you have rolled from your back onto you side by swinging your legs but seem quite content to stay on your side instead of pushing hard to get over your shoulder onto your tummy.
You have started sitting up assisted in between Mama's legs and seem to enjoy it and have good stability I think we might have you sitting before rolling over. Yesterday Mama moved your pushchair from the flat position to a slanted sitting position(see picture) and you LOVE it. You look all around and have yet to realize you can't seem Mama anymore (you have more interesting things to look at). I love how it makes your ears stick out.
You love tummy time and have started doing the parachute position with you arms, legs, and head off the mat at the same time. You have also gotten much more interested in your baby gym and bouncy chair. I think it is the fact that you have a longer attention span.
You have started "talking" you love to tell stories and sometimes just lay under you baby gym and talk to your self.
Everyday when I go to get you out of your crib in the morning you seem to have changed so much. Everyday I am in awe of the fact that I am your Mother I look into you big blue eyes and fall a little bit more in love with you if that is possible. Every single day with you is a blessing.

Monday, 11 October 2010

Madame's Monday Update

Dear Jocelynne,
Mama put you down for a few minutes and returned to find this. Usually Kitty ignores you and once you are asleep comes and bugs me to get some loving. Looks like I will have to be more careful to close the door.
After a few melt down days and nights we have started a bed time routine of bath at 5.30 followed by dim lights no TV, or mama on the computer, calm voices, and quiet. for the past 5 nights you have been asleep by 6:30 and only wake for a 11pm feed and a 4am feed and both times you are straight back to sleep to wake for good at 7am. It seems to also have helped with your naps as well as. You are getting into a routine with when you like to take your naps but are flexible enough to sleep at home, in the push chair, car, or sling. I hope this is something you can keep up but we will see when you start teething and such.
I am so glad you are settling easier, you are so much happier when you wake up in the morning and we have a lazy 30 minutes in bed singing song and playing, it is such a joy.
I love you so much,

Sunday, 10 October 2010

The Many Faces of Madame

While Mama went out to play with her toys (making christmas cards) and friends, you and Daddy chilled yesterday. Daddy got great pictures of all the new expressions you are making.

Thursday, 7 October 2010

While You Were Sleeping

Kitty kept your bouncy chair warm!

Wednesday, 6 October 2010

Weigh in Wednesdays

Unfortunately even though I had hope to hold steady this week after a bad start to the week with Madame being under the weather with a runny nose it was not to be. I ended up gaining a pound. Most of this can be put down to snarfing most of a carrot cake I made on Sunday when I was stressed and rain getting in the way of walking. Update on goals:


Thursday: Lost Pedometer and rain
Friday: Lost Pedometer and rain
Saturday: 10.5 miles
Sunday: 2.3 miles
Monday: 9.5 miles
Tuesday: Lost Pedometer (yeah I know I am pathetic)
Wednesday: 5.2 miles

It averages almost four miles a day I had really wanted to do better. I am trying to implement always taking off the pedometer and putting it in the same place hopefully that will help. I am also meeting up with another mother one day a week and doing a 7 mile walk plus the mile each way to meet up with her that was the over 10 miles the last two Mondays. I have also started to look at places that I drive when I meet up with other mums and have started to realize that they are less than two miles I might as well walk because parking is hard around where we live, hopefully that will help.

Eating Better

As I mentioned above I downed almost a whole carrot cake while under stress so I have really failed this week. I can only push to do better.

Monday, 4 October 2010

Madame's Monday Update

Madame was born on a Monday and so when I first started posting updates it seemed reasonable to post them with how old she was in weeks. The problem becomes that in a few years time it would be 152 week post and such. My goal in posting weekly was to keep my friends and family who lived far away updated and also to have a record when she hits milestones or things I didn't want to forget. So in keeping with my goal to keep everyone updated I will continue to post on Mondays with a photo of Jocelynne and a Dear Jocelynne letter. On big occasions like monthly markers I will post on the day it falls in a different format, so just the photo this week no Dear Jocelynne letter, we will be back to the letters next week. I know I am bias but how cute is she?