Thursday, 10 October 2013

Peace




My Dearest Jasper,

You might one day have a look at this blog and notice that the first couple of years of Joss's life (and even my pregnancy) I blogged about at great length. I haven't for you, I just want to explain a bit.  From the moment I found out you were to be a part of our life I was selfish, you were mine and I didn't want to share you.  We didn't share the news of my pregnancy for a long time and then only with a few people for a very long time.  It was a hard pregnancy because of the gallstones and there was a point we were not sure if we were going to have to decide to have surgery while I was pregnant with you. It was scary, really scary.  Once the decision had been made to not have surgery and to see how far we could get with you before intervention was needed it was still scary but there was peace.  You brought me so much peace the whole time.  Every gallstone attack I had as the pain subsided and I would feel you kick it brought me peace. When I ended up in hospital to be monitored for liver numbers that were off the chart due to gallstone issue and they monitored your heart rate the sounds of it brought me peace. Each week that passed and we got closer to full term I breathed a little sigh of relief. While it all happened I didn't have the strength to write about it and share it. I didn't want photos every week, I was so worried I might not hold you in my arms one day that I didn't want photos of the whole process just in case.

So many other things were happening and it was not the happiest time in our lives and yet through it all I always had you. Your name was chosen long before you were born (I had already chosen it long before daddy agreed) and knowing it was such a lovely thing.

Then you came and you brought me so much peace, your labour and birth with no complications or intervention healed me from the small things of your sisters birth I questioned. Your chilled and relaxed attitude to life showed me that so many of the things I worried that I did wrong with Joss I hadn't she was just a different baby.

You fit right into our family

Still I found it hard to share you with the rest of the world, not because I love you more than Joss, or the other way around I loved Joss more so shared more about her.


I don't believe what you do for one child you have to do for your others, but I do believe that you should do you best to meet you individual child's needs to the best of your ability.  I hope that your needs will always be met.

It was probably wrong you won't have something to look back on one day when I am gone and for that I am sorry I hope you will understand. Your milestones have been no less celebrated.


I love you with all of my heart.

Mummy

Friday, 4 October 2013

Teething


Dear Mum,

I cut my first bottom tooth last night ( you may have noticed when you sliced your finger on it rubbing Bonjela on my gums) the second one is not far behind and my top gums are swollen as well. I am six months in just over four weeks and I am thinking steak as my first weaning food.


Sincerely,

Jasper

Friday, 27 September 2013

The Autumn Bucket List/Autumn Seasonal Food List

We really enjoyed the Summer Bucket List as a family and it was a great place to refer to as we planned our weeks and looked for last minute activities to do. We didn't manage to accomplish all the tasks on the list but to be honest this was never my intention in making a bucket list. My intention was to communicate as a family (mostly Philip and I at the moment but Joss is becoming more and more involved in this process) what activities and experiences we wanted to be involved in over a specific season. I am trying much harder to parent with fore thought I have to say that the majority of Joss's first 2-2/12 years Philip and I were kind of flying by the seat of our pants.  Some of this was just not knowing exactly what parenting and having a child involved, some of it was just hanging on to pre-child days where we could literally decide we wanted to do something and be out the door five minutes later. As Joss grows and as I realize that at least for me understanding age appropriate activities and choosing activities is not something I can just wing I have a desire as well as a need to put more thought into how we choose to celebrate seasons and document our life as family.

For that reason we have decided to write an Autumn Bucket List and this season we also really wanted to put a lot of focus on using seasonal foods and recipes.  I have divide them into two lists for that reason.  Again it is not all about crossing everything off but about the thought process and having a place to draw ideas from instead of starting with a blank canvas.

Autumn Bucket List


  • First Day of Preschool Photo with 
  • Interview Joss about her life
  • attend a Farmer's Market
  • Trick or Treat with Joss and Jasper
  • Leaf Prints with Joss
  • Try the White Lion (this is a carry over from the Summer Bucket List)
  • Eat at the Cherry Tree
  • Document Life (this deserves it's own post)

Autumn Food Bucket List:
Game:
  • Rabbit 
  • Pigeon
Squash:
  • Roasted Corn Cesar Salad ( I have already made this recipe, to the wise it has too much garlic in the dressing and this come from someone who LOVES garlic who find reasons to add garlic to recipes.  I would at least halve the amount of garlic and or roast the garlic before hand)
  • Buffalo Chicken Corn Chowder
Pumpkin:
Again this is just a wish list I know that due to two small children a number of these recipes will not be made over the coming month. To be honest some nights I just end up having corn flakes for dinner but I love having a list to come back to and get ideas from.

What are your favorite Autumn activities and recipes?



Monday, 9 September 2013

First Day of Preschool




Only two and a half weeks latter and 20 degrees cooler than it was on that day finally sharing what a cutie Joss was on her first day of Preschool on September 2nd.

She loved it and ran right in after a quick kiss for mum and dad and hasn't looked back since.


She carried the sign all the way there. Love this sweet girl!

Thursday, 29 August 2013

August in Bullet Points

August has been crazy, it has been for the last three years as Philip's boss takes about three weeks off in August leaving him to run the show.  He has been pretty absent the last three weeks between the hours of 7am and 11.30pm Monday through Friday not leaving me much free time but we do make the most of weekends and the occasional "early" or him getting home around 4.30pm.  Our days have been full though.



  • This little man became an American he pretty much slept through the whole 8 hour journey and process and then proceeded not to sleep too well for two week ha!




  • We took Joss to her first Fun Fair at Chalkwell Park crossing that off our Summer Bucket List.  Man that girl has no fear the only thing that held her back was her height!





  • We enjoyed a trip to our favorite park in Maldon, sand castle construction was heavily supervised by Joss so that she could stomp on them once they were built








  • Much ice cream was consumed


  • But don't worry we practice good dental hygiene and mummy got choked up when Joss moved up into the next tooth paste age group.



  • Joss got her pasting skills on




  • This little man continued to fight sleep



  • Then after some tweaks to his routine finally realized that yeah sleep was good

  • Enjoyed some time at our local beach in Old Leigh


  • Enjoyed the bouncy castle fun day at our local park every week



  • Found a new favorite toy at the park which Joss can do herself which is a relief for me cause to be honest I was getting bored of pushing her on the swings for the whole time.



  • Joss decided to set the table herself one night and damn that kid is not bad for three years old



  • We headed of to London for what was suppose to be a trip to London Aquarium to check that off our bucket list but when we got there and found out the queue just to get tickets was 90 minutes we decided to just enjoy a walk around Covent Garden and a fabulous lunch at our favorite Mexican restaurant Wahaca, the food was amazing as usual. Joss had her fill of jumping in puddles and riding on buses and trains.




  • We visited the East Anglia Railway Museum which happened to be having a "Day out with Thomas" which didn't mean much to Joss as she isn't familiar with the Thomas characters but she loved being able to ride Thomas and the other characters from the series.


  • To cap the month off this little man at not even four months mastered the back to belly roll and now tummy time does not seem such a chore.  Not sure I am ready for him to be as mobile as he is but looks like this one is going to hit his milestone on the early side, who can blame him when he has a crazy sister he wants to try and keep up with!

Sunday, 11 August 2013

11 things I am loving on the 11th

This was originally meant to be a post about ten things I was loving on the tenth of the month but after melt down days on Friday and Saturday it never quite got finished. I realized while winding down this evening that I am am loving dusk as well so guess we are going with eleven things I love on the eleventh. Work with what your given!


1. Newman's Own Tex Mex salad dressing. OH MY GOD so good.  I know that for all my American readers you can pick of your choice of southwest ranch at any grocery store but Tex Mex is not big here in the UK and I have spent the last year trying a million different recipes for a good chipolte type ranch since having an amazing southwest salad at a little diner near my parents. Some of the recipes turned out good but none were quite right.  I saw this last week on the shelves of our local grocery store and got super excited and it didn't let me down.  I have had and embarrassing amount of salad in the last week so we could use it. We are on our second bottle in a week, just to be clear Philip is using it too so its not like I have gone through almost two bottles on my own but am doing a good job of using it up!

2. Good Morning Smiles
Cheeky Good Morning Smiles
I get some variation of this EVERY morning who wouldn't want to grab this baby and smother him with kisses, or more likely what he is looking for feed him!

3. Swinging

Somewhere towards the end of my pregnancy Joss rekindled her love with the swing and to be honest I was SO glad, nothing like trying to run after a dare devil almost three year old at the park when you are the size of a double wide.  I really thought her desire to sit and be pushed in the swing the whole time we were at the park would wear off quickly but over three months later it is still 95% of how we spend out time at the park.

4. Dream Feeding

I missed the memo on dream feeding with Joss and by the time I found out about it when she was around six months old she was such a crappy sleeper there was no way I was going to take the chance on waking her up in the process of doing a dream feed.  I don't know if it is the fact that I get so little one on one time with Jasper but I love that dream feed, having him snuggled into me the milk drunk expression on his face when he finishes, and not having to put him down and run off after Joss the moment I am done.

5. Meringue Nests  


At some point middle of July I decided I need homemade meringue nests with passion fruit.  My MIL had been buying store bought ones and Joss had discovered the joy of Eton Mess but I am a stickler for meringue and I need mine to be chewy in the middle and the store bought ones were not.  Luckily I have a chef for a husband and my food wish is his command and less than 24 hours after I mentioned it viola.  Multiple batches have been made and I have since discovered a local grocery store that makes them fresh daily and theirs are chewy in the middle. It has to say the least become the summer of meringue.  Joss loves them as much as I do and round here were use "special yogurt" or Creme Fraiche with ours and any yummy fruit or berry that takes our fancy when doing the weekly shop.

6. Matching Toe Nails 

I am not a girly girl and neither is Joss though that is probably as much nurture as nature, but man I love a good pedicure and turns out Joss does as well.  I had mixed feelings on even introducing nail polish as I want Joss to grow knowing she is beautiful with out a scrap of make up and that make up does not the woman make.  However after much thought and discussion with Philip and the need to fill a rainy afternoon out came the nail polish.  She always chooses the colour that I am wearing at the time this particular time it was "blue like you mama"


I am pretty minimalistic when it comes to baby supplies and for the most part if I can use something we have or can buy the same product that is not "baby" such as wash clothes I tend to buy the cheaper option but these were a gift when Jasper was born and I have to say I love the bright colours and the fact that they are lighter and easy to ring out with one hand. It makes cleaning up dirty faces and bath time fun.


I made these on a whim after seeing someone post a photo on Instagram and they are amazingly yummy and delicious, I am always game for cookies that have peanut butter, oatmeal, and m&ms. I left the raisins out due to my deep seated belief that raisins should never appear in cookies.  I also found due to a melt down day that the dough works better if refrigerated then cooked straight from the refrigerator.



9. A relaxed approach to summer planning

As I mentioned in my post about our Summer Bucket list I didn't know how life with two would go so kept our summer pretty free form.  I have signed Joss up in August for a few activities through the English equivalent of Parks and Rec but on a whole just kind of faced the days as they came or only a few days in advance.  On a whole I have loved this approach but can definitely tell next summer is going to need to be planned more in advanced with some research into activities in the area. I also want to give much more thought and planning to our Summer Bucket List next year and include more recipes and eating out experiences.

10. Quiet time

We got rid of Joss's naps not long after Jasper was born as she wasn't settling until 8.30-9pm but was still up bang on 6am every morning. On a whole it was a good decision as she went back to easily settling around 7pm and sleeping till between 6-7am most mornings. The one downside was with no nap time it was all toddler all day and as Joss still really does not play on her own this was full on especially with a small baby.  Ali Edwards mentioned quiet time in this post and after reading some online resources I felt it was something Joss would benefit from and would give me either some time with Jasper or a few minutes to do tasks during the day that did not suit a 3 year old like make business calls and such. Joss actually transitioned well into quiet time we started slow with me only expecting 5-10 minutes and have worked up to 30 minutes. We do it in her room and I read her two stories and then make sure she is set up with her potty and water and explain I will be back when the timer goes off (I don't actually set a timer so if needs be I can pop up if she is not doing well and say the timer has gone off or if she has fallen asleep the timer does not wake her) sometimes this lead to nap time and if we have had a busy day or a bad night the night before I let her nap for up to an hour then wake her gently. If not I go up after 30 minutes to let her know quiet time is over. It has been a welcome break and gives me the time to focus and redirect my attention to afternoon activities.  I have also seen a huge improvement on Joss playing on her own in this time. Listening to her on the monitor and hearing what games she is playing or her imaginary play is brilliant.

11. Dusk

I am loving sitting out in the garden after thing one and thing two are asleep for a few minutes as the light changes. It is so peaceful to hear the rest of the world shut down for the night as well. The quiet only gently interrupted as the neighbors seem to enjoy dusk with me.


Wednesday, 31 July 2013

Day in the Life Summer 2013

I have wanted to do a day in the life post for a long time probably since Joss was small but everytime I tried  something came up or halfway through the day everything collapsed.  So when I saw that Navigating the Mothership was doing her summer DITL post and inviting her readers to join in and link up I jumped on the band wagon.  It has been a great process and really allowed me to look from the outside at how we spend our days and to also look at what I like and what I would like to change.  I know a lot of days Philip will ask what have you guys done with your day and I just stare at him with a blank look shrug and say "kept two kids alive" and while that is how it feels it is good to actually be able to see the day as a whole.  So here goes the good, the bad, and the ugly:



As I hear Jasper stir I grab my phone to check the time, as it light so early I have been guilty of at times getting up to start the day at the slightest noise.  As Jasper nurses I check social media and read blogs on my iPhone (seriously what did women do while they were nursing before smart phones?).

While I am doing this Philip is showering then gets Joss from her room where she has been patiently (or not so patiently) waiting for him to finish so they can go down and do her breakfast.  I can hear her non stop chatter as she helps him make her breakfast and I doze off as Jasper finishes feeding.

6.50 Philip comes up to say good bye to Jasper and I.  I get up and go to change Jasper before heading down to get Joss to finish her breakfast.  On this particular morning she decides to come up while I am changing Jasper so I go ahead and get her dressed for the day.  She knows it is Thursday so it is "Seb Gym Day" (she does Gymnastics with her best friend Seb and some how over the last six months it has come to be know as "Seb Gym Day")  as she gets dressed she goes through the days of the week which goes something like this."First Wednesday then Tuesday then Wednesday then Tuesday then Wednesday then Thursday which is Seb Gym Day" Yes our whole week rotates around "Seb Gym Day" and on Friday she will ask "When is Seb Gym Day" and I start a week of going though the days of the week till "Seb Gym Day".  I figure at least she is learning her days of the week.

She knows she has to have a pony tail for Gymnastics and decides on the day she wants "Two Pony Tails" or piggy tails. As I start the process of parting her hair she changes her mind and decides she wants one pony tail I confirm her choice at which point she decides no it is a two pony tail day.  She does not want to sit still while I try to part her hair and we end up with a small melt down but pony tails are finally in place.  Jasper chills on the bed while I watch her get dressed and do her hair for her.

7.15 Jasper goes on his play mat and I turn the TV on to Joss' TV programs while I quickly eat and do my hair.

7.40 Jasper is getting tired so I set up Joss with her water and the potty in the living room and let her know that if she gets hungry her toast is still at the table and I am going up to get Jasper settled for nap.  I get up to the bedroom with Jasper and can tell he is going to settle easily and almost give a sigh of relief as I hear Joss at the bottom of the stairs "Mummy I have done a wee in my knickers"  This is Joss' new thing when she is upset I am spending time with Jasper.  I set Jasper in his Moses basket with fingers crossed as he has that drowsy look, grab a change of clothes for Joss, and head down to have her change herself.  I get the mess cleaned up and her reset up and let her know I am going to finish settling Jasper.  I peek in and while he is not asleep yet he is heavy eyed and almost there.  I start a bath as it is early and with Jasper easily settled I will have time.  I tidy Joss' room and grab a load of laundry to throw in while I wait to make sure Jasper is going to fall asleep on his own.

8.15 After starting a load of laundry I quickly jump in the bath leaving the door open so Joss can come in if she wants.  I actually get a bath and get dressed before she wanders in while I am brushing my teeth and joins me.

8.30 I quickly grab the laptop and pay the bills that don't come out direct debit as it is payday for me and switch loads of laundry.  As the weather looks iffy and we are heading out soon I hang it on the racks indoors seriously there is ALWAYS laundry in the machine, drying, and in baskets waiting to be put away.

As Joss' is happy playing I quickly jot down a grocery list thinking if all the planets align this afternoon and there is a good time between nursing and Joss is in good spirits I MIGHT hit the shops (it never happened)


8.55 Hear Jasper stiring on the monitor and know he will be ready for a feed so tell Joss that it is time to feed Jasper which elicites squeals of delight as she knows that it means she gets to play her games on my phone.

9.02 realize I didn't close the notes I had been making for DITL and Joss has deleted them in the process of trying to get into her game as she won't allow me to do it any more this girl is all about "do it myself". Take a few deep breaths.

9.20 Jasper is fed and dressed and I get Joss into our going out routine of sitting on the potty and getting her shoes and her hand bag which keeps her sunglasses and what ever small toys she can shove in it.  At the moment it is play food ham, bread, and knife so she can make ham sandwiches.

Putting her shoes on is all a bit much for my little drama queen


Poor Jasper gets roped into carrying the tax disc I realize I need to put in the car


We are actually out the door earlier than I thought so on top of picking up nappies because I am down to one, and I know if I risk going out with only one Jasper will have a run of blow outs, I decide we have time to stop and get diesel as well at the petrol station which is right next to the grocery store.


With two small kids there is no such thing as popping into a shop for nappies and in true fashion there is a melt down at the check out when I tell Joss no to getting a Bob the Builder magazine.  

10.00 On the road for Seb Gym which is actually in two parts the first is an optional Parent and Toddler session which is open to anyone and as Joss is enrolled in the lessons after we can attend for free.  Jasper has fallen asleep in his car seat and our favorite coach Debbie offers to keep an eye on him so I don't have to risk waking him when tranfering him to his Mai Thai sling.


Joss seems all about the balance beam today which is out of character for her, usually she wants to spend the whole 45 minutes swinging on the rings or waiting for turns on the trampoline.  I am so amazed at how much she has grown since starting gymnastics she has never been one to be afraid of trying things and is quite the dare devil so no fear of heights or swinging around, but her ability to sit and wait her turn and follow direction has gotten so much better even at the parent and toddler session. As soon as she walks into the gym she knows "the rules".

10.45 There is a 15 minute break from the parent and toddler session and the stuctured lessons so Joss and I set up chairs for Seb, his mother Fran, and another mother who we have made friends with and Joss has snack.  As soon as Seb arrives they are off running around like crazy loons.

11.00 Joss goes in for lessons, I love the fact that in a few short months Joss has gone from being shy and not sure she even wanted to go in to standing in the queue and waiting for her name to be ticked off the role as she goes in all by herself.

While Joss is in lessons I feed Jasper while chatting with Fran and the other mother we each have two children ranging in age from four years down to Jasper at 2 1/2 months and it is so nice to chat about how the kids are doing and to share milestones and also chat about challenges and realize that actually our kids aren't so bad, other kids throw tantrums in the middle of the grocery store and refuse to put their shoes on.

12.00 Joss comes out and I chat with her about what she did in lesson while I help her with her shoes. We start the journey to the car park which is huge and busy and I always have a heart in my throat moment as I worry she will run off and get hit by a car as she is so excited by walking out with Seb.
One hot sweaty mama after running after Joss with Jasper in his car seat but two kids safe and buckled into the car.  

12.15 Joss decides about two miles from home that she HAS to wee and she can't make it home. Luckily I have a potty in the trunk of the car and whip into the nearest parking lot.


12.00 Home again, on Thursdays after gymnastics I always feel like I have put a full day in by the time we get home but it is so worth it for all the skills Joss is picking up.

Jasper has fallen asleep in the carseat so I carry him in and leave him in the hall where it is quiet and quickly throw together sandwiches for Joss and I.

Ham and cheese oh yeah we are gormet around here!

I make the mistake of thinking that I can open the mail while Joss and I eat only to find out that a bill we changed last month is no longer coming out direct debit and I have the final notice and that when we changed car insurance that our old insurance did not forward on some of the details and if we don't update the information we will loose our good rate.  

I make the second mistake of thinking I can multitask and deal with paying the bill over the phone, who ever invented voice automated systems did not take into consideration having a three year old in the back ground yelling that she wants to talk on the phone.  


I txt Philip as I am unsure of where the car insurance details are and thus begin a crazy hour of Joss not doing quiet time after lunch as usual, Jasper waking and wanting to be fed right as Philip is trying to ring me an give me the info for the car insuranc,e and having my phone die as it is out of battery, while the cat pukes.  I didn't take a photo of the cat puke you can thank me later.

2.00 Joss finally goes in her room for quiet time favourite story choice at the moment is Daisy the Donut Fairy.  I try not to whip through it in record time as this is the 967th time I have read it this week.



 Jasper finishes nursing and a small amount of order is resumed.

2.45-3.00 Jasper settles for nap, again he is quite happy to go in his Moses basket drowsy and settle himself.  I am greatful for such a chilled baby but on Thursdays especially I feel like he get forgotten and just has to "get on with it". Joss comes off quiet time about 2.45.


3.11 Mama collapses on the couch to try and chill for a few minutes while Joss is playing but as usual this happens
 

3.30 Afternoon snack of strawberries from our Strawberry Picking Adventure the day before

4.00 Jasper is up from nap and Joss and I head up to play with him on out bed. All starts out nice until Joss decides that the flannel I have given him to play with in his hands as I can't find his taggi is hers (techniquly it is but she never uses it).  After a small fit Joss grabs my Lola's Cupcake cookbook from the side of the bed and decides to read Jasper and I a story. It goes something like this "Here is a yummy cupcake *turns the page* and another yummy cupcake *turns the page* look mummy a yummy cupcake".







4.30 We all head downstairs so I can start Joss' dinner and I manage to quickly sweep the kitchen floor.  At some point here Jasper has gone down for another nap.

4.45 Joss sits down to eat while I chat with her the chosen topic is how everyone gets to work.  Daddy rides a push bike to the train, Uncle Richard rides a push bike to work, Grandma drives her vroom vroom car.  I unload and reload the dishwasher as we chat.

5.05 Joss gets in the bath while I nurse Jasper, joy of joy he does a deadly nursing poo that requires a wardrobe change for the both of us.  Luckily the upstairs is set up so I can see the bath from Jasper's changing table and I grab a new pair of pants from the pile in a basket in the hall for me.
I am gosh darn cute even if I poo all over you!

5.45 Jasper chills on Joss' bed while I help her get her PJs on and comb her hair.  Then start the bedtime ritual of "Two Pat" or the two episodes of Postman Pat.
How else would one watch TV?

6.20 Good Night call to Daddy and Joss places her breakfast order of toast with Marmite for the following day.  Good night kisses from Mama and Jasper.  I take Jasper into our room to "whisper sweet nothings" to him and enjoy a few precious minutes with just him.

6.35 Joss is passed out and I get Jasper in his PJs as he is sleepy

6.45 Call with Philip to chat about the day and discuss details of our flat that is finally in the process of being sold.  Jasper falls asleep while we are chatting an I transfer him to his Moses basket.

7-7.25 willfully waste time looking at blogs, Facebook, and instagram.

7.25-7.40 Take advantage of the fact MIL is on vacation I was able to park on the drive and attack mess in car and repack the changing bag for our Friday morning activities


I know I have two small children but it amazes me that it get so bad so quick

7.40 Jasper stirs and it is time for a feed

8.00 Jasper in Moses basket drowsy from feed fingers crossed he will drift off.

8.00-9.00 My mad house cleaning hour.  I deep clean the kitchen and wash all the hand wash items that can't go in the dishwasher, wipe down the counters, organize a cupboard that always spills it's contents as soon as you open it.  I grab all the dry clothes off the racks and do a marathon folding and organizing session so that I can quickly put it away in the morning.

9.00-9.30 look up recipe for refrigerator oatmeal and make a batch for the morning, general shut down of the house windows and blinds closed last quick tidy up while I obsessively check Skype to see if my mom is on.

9.45-10.15 ME TIME! A bath in which I get to shave and exfoliate followed by putting on lotion oh to the small pleasures!



10.15 Dream feed


My work here is done because *in whispered voice* Jasper has been sleeping through the night for almost three weeks. I am almost afraid to type it out after Joss not going longer than 4 hours until she was almost 9 months.

11.15 somewhat drowsy and almost asleep I hear the garage door as Philip puts his bike away and I feel secure enough to fall asleep.