I was not hoping for much this week and was even expecting to maybe gain some weight as a trip to London requires a trip to Lola's best cupcakes this side of the pond! Then Tuesday was the bake sale at my breastfeeding support group to support Breast Cancer Awareness month and seriously it would be rude not to buy a cupcake I struggled not to buy two! To top it off a lunch invitation to a friend's house required a batch of Red Velvet Cupcakes. While some of this was planned into my points, not all of it could be swallowed and I know the reason I still managed to loose a 1/2lb this week was my pavement pounding this week.
Weight loss this week .5lb
Total weight loss 8.5lb
Current weight 177.5
Walking
Friday 5.5
Saturday 6.5
Sunday 5.5
Monday 7
Tuesday 5.5
Wednesday 6
Thursday 6.5
This week for the first time since I set myself the goal of doing 5 miles a day I have actually done that every day for a week. Some weeks past I have averaged 5 miles a day due to a few large mileage days. I have to say it felt good and I was proud of myself but. . . . It was REALLY hard with Madame this week, one of the days we went out for a walk and she was grisly for no reason and I ended up heading home very quickly and was lucky enough to get a happier baby in the afternoon. The weather was amazing this week and I was able to dodge any bad weather with a lot of prep and keeping up with daily and hourly weather reports, this is something I can't really keep up on, I just don't have that kind of planning time at the moment. I have also let a lot of other balls drop in my life right now to make the walking work so I think maybe going for an average of 5 miles a day over a week is a better option, that way I can use Madame's good days and good weather days to my advantage. I can also use bad weather days to keep up with non exercise stuff.
Making better food choices:
Well if you read the first paragraph you will see that this week has been heavy on the goodies. I am still struggling with fruit, I am managing to get things like plums and banana's in about once a week. Unfortunately due to bonded front teeth I can't eat apples and pears whole and finding the time to cut them up just isn't working. I know I need to MAKE time but that is easier said than done as I still struggle to make food and food choices a priority. I will just have to keep trying. Philip is great at getting me out of a rut food wise and has been bringing in new more seasonal vegetables into our dinners. He made some rocking sweet potato wedges the other night and now all I can think of are sweet potatoes!
Friday, 22 October 2010
Wednesday, 20 October 2010
Rose Coloured Glasses
Parenting comes with a million decisions and from even before the birth you second guess if you are making the right ones. One decision I made a long time before I got pregnant probably from as early as childhood myself was that I was going to breastfeed. It was not really a decision so much as all I knew, my mother breastfed four children exclusively and only put my youngest sister on formula when she needed to treat post natal depression with prescription drugs. All of her friends breastfed and it just seemed normal. My decision was only further supported when I started reading up on how to breastfeed and the information on all the benefits.
So when Madame was born and I was already worried I might have chosen the wrong pushchair or if letting her co-sleep would lead to problems later on but I was not terribly worried about my decision to breastfeed. I though at any moment the ease that I had seen my mother feed her children would come and I would have a bond with my child due to the amazing gift I was giving her. Weeks passed and it didn’t come, sometimes in the dead of the night when I had only drifted off less than an hour before and her cries would come that she wanted more I would cry as I fed her from the shear exhaustion.
Every time she would spit up over and over again I would curse all those women and books who said breastfed babies spit up less than bottle fed babies. Curse every health professional who said it to my face as I tried to find help and make sure the spitting up was normal, especially the one who looked at me like as I was being melodramatic because everyone knows that yup you guessed it breastfed babies spit up less than bottle fed babies (props to Madame for soaking three outfits in rapid succession in front of this woman).
I cried to myself and to my mother on the phone because breastfeeding was suppose to make me love my baby more and sometimes I just really didn’t want to feed her, not that I didn’t love her or want the best for her but I just needed 5 minutes to think. I cried in private when one of the breastfeeding mothers from our birthing class complemented me for how easily I breastfed in public and managed to make it look easy because really I felt like I was falling apart and I was the last person she should look up to. I cried because it was suppose to get easier at six weeks and I held out and it didn’t feel like it did. I cried because my let down was so powerful it hurt and took my breath away
Then I stopped crying, I had options I could bottle feed no one was stopping me I CHOSE to breastfeed, I truly believe it is the best option for my baby. I took a long hard look and made some observations.
1. Maybe breastfed babies were suppose to spit up less, mine doesn’t. It doesn’t mean that she is not gaining all the other benefits from breastfeeding it just means I have more laundry to do. Bottle feeding would not make her less sickie and would probably make her more sickie.
2. 6 weeks is a figure that is thrown out there to when breastfeeding will become established, it is not a magic switch that goes off. To be honest I was established at 6 weeks, the ease and partnership between Madame, myself, and my breasts came it just didn’t come until some where around the 10th week really not that long is the scheme of my breastfeeding career with Madame or her life in general.
3. It was unfair to me to try and compare my lack of feeling ease with breastfeeding with the breastfeeding I remembered my mother doing as most of those memories came from my youngest brother who was my mother’s fourth child. On top of that my mother is a very different person than I am and has a selflessness I am just now starting to understand as a mother and am still years from even coming close to.
Last week that moment happened I had dreamed of happening, I pick up a warm still half sleeping baby at 10pm and she nuzzled in and latched on and in the dark room propped up on the bed she cuddled as she fed and I found peace.
So when Madame was born and I was already worried I might have chosen the wrong pushchair or if letting her co-sleep would lead to problems later on but I was not terribly worried about my decision to breastfeed. I though at any moment the ease that I had seen my mother feed her children would come and I would have a bond with my child due to the amazing gift I was giving her. Weeks passed and it didn’t come, sometimes in the dead of the night when I had only drifted off less than an hour before and her cries would come that she wanted more I would cry as I fed her from the shear exhaustion.
Every time she would spit up over and over again I would curse all those women and books who said breastfed babies spit up less than bottle fed babies. Curse every health professional who said it to my face as I tried to find help and make sure the spitting up was normal, especially the one who looked at me like as I was being melodramatic because everyone knows that yup you guessed it breastfed babies spit up less than bottle fed babies (props to Madame for soaking three outfits in rapid succession in front of this woman).
I cried to myself and to my mother on the phone because breastfeeding was suppose to make me love my baby more and sometimes I just really didn’t want to feed her, not that I didn’t love her or want the best for her but I just needed 5 minutes to think. I cried in private when one of the breastfeeding mothers from our birthing class complemented me for how easily I breastfed in public and managed to make it look easy because really I felt like I was falling apart and I was the last person she should look up to. I cried because it was suppose to get easier at six weeks and I held out and it didn’t feel like it did. I cried because my let down was so powerful it hurt and took my breath away
Then I stopped crying, I had options I could bottle feed no one was stopping me I CHOSE to breastfeed, I truly believe it is the best option for my baby. I took a long hard look and made some observations.
1. Maybe breastfed babies were suppose to spit up less, mine doesn’t. It doesn’t mean that she is not gaining all the other benefits from breastfeeding it just means I have more laundry to do. Bottle feeding would not make her less sickie and would probably make her more sickie.
2. 6 weeks is a figure that is thrown out there to when breastfeeding will become established, it is not a magic switch that goes off. To be honest I was established at 6 weeks, the ease and partnership between Madame, myself, and my breasts came it just didn’t come until some where around the 10th week really not that long is the scheme of my breastfeeding career with Madame or her life in general.
3. It was unfair to me to try and compare my lack of feeling ease with breastfeeding with the breastfeeding I remembered my mother doing as most of those memories came from my youngest brother who was my mother’s fourth child. On top of that my mother is a very different person than I am and has a selflessness I am just now starting to understand as a mother and am still years from even coming close to.
Last week that moment happened I had dreamed of happening, I pick up a warm still half sleeping baby at 10pm and she nuzzled in and latched on and in the dark room propped up on the bed she cuddled as she fed and I found peace.
Monday, 18 October 2010
Madame's Monday Update
Madame tries to snooze on the bus all wraped up snug!
Dear Jocelynne,
You and Mummy made our first trip to London without out our support team aka Daddy. You were perfect I could not have asked you to be better. It messed with you naps though as you tried to sleep on the train but woke as they announced each station, then tried to sleep on the bus in London but did not like the whoosh noise it made at each stop. You pretty much slept the whole rest of the next day to make up for lack of naps on Friday.
You are so interested in the world around you, where ever we go your eyes are open big and sometimes I think you might get whip lash as you whip you head this way and that trying to take everything in.
You have become interested in toys now and I have pick up some too keep you going until Santa brings you your Christmas presents.
I still can't believe how much fun I have with you every day!
Love Mummy
Sunday, 17 October 2010
All by Myself
Today for the first time since Madame was born I went for a walk all by myself. I have left her with Philip before now, or he has taken her out but I had never used this time specifically to go for a walk. Philip has prompted me in the last three months to do it but to be honest first I had to get over my irrational but real fear that if I left her and she wanted to be fed or needed me just me that the world would come to an end. Once this hurdle was passed and I was able to leave her with Philip for more than 10-15 mins I had become so use to my walks including Madame that when Philip would offer I honestly was not sure how to go for a walk without the pushchair, it had become a norm, and maybe even a crutch.
Today even though I tried my hardest to get out the door before Madame fell asleep for her morning nap it didn't happen. I knew our favorite route would be swamped with weekend walkers by the time she woke up from nap and they are the worse for not allowing room for the pushchair on the side walk so our walk would have been stop-start-stop-start due to full sidewalks. I made a split decision to ask Philip to keep her while I went for my walk.
Within the first block I didn't even realize that I was minus the pushchair as I had fallen into a pace that was much faster than I can seem to hit with the pushchair. As I approached the cliffs leading down to the seafront I realized I could take the stairs down instead of having to detour a few streets over to take the ramp. I also had the pleasure of getting the stairs back up the cliffs at the high street for which I am sure my bum will be thanking me for a few days time. Over all it was a good experience and one that I think I will have to repeat more often as I try to juggle my desire to be a good Mum to Madame but also to not loose my identity as more than just a mother.
Today even though I tried my hardest to get out the door before Madame fell asleep for her morning nap it didn't happen. I knew our favorite route would be swamped with weekend walkers by the time she woke up from nap and they are the worse for not allowing room for the pushchair on the side walk so our walk would have been stop-start-stop-start due to full sidewalks. I made a split decision to ask Philip to keep her while I went for my walk.
Within the first block I didn't even realize that I was minus the pushchair as I had fallen into a pace that was much faster than I can seem to hit with the pushchair. As I approached the cliffs leading down to the seafront I realized I could take the stairs down instead of having to detour a few streets over to take the ramp. I also had the pleasure of getting the stairs back up the cliffs at the high street for which I am sure my bum will be thanking me for a few days time. Over all it was a good experience and one that I think I will have to repeat more often as I try to juggle my desire to be a good Mum to Madame but also to not loose my identity as more than just a mother.
Friday, 15 October 2010
Fitness Fridays
So I made my first visit to my new Weight Watchers group. I have the same leader that I had for Wednesday night meeting and I have to say that the other ladies (there were no men, this week at least) seemed really lovely and there was even another mother of a little girl just younger than Madame who is also doing WW while breastfeeding.
This week after tracking all but one meal that I ate at a friends house and couldn't really ask for nutritional information and working really hard on getting out to do at least 5miles a day I was able to loose 3lbs including the pound I gained last week which brings me down to 178lbs a total loss of 8lbs.
Walking:
Saturday: 0 (I spent the day at a crafting crop and didn't bother to put my pedometer on)
Sunday: 6.7
Monday: 5.2
Tuesday: 4.0
Wednesday: 5.5
Thursday: 0 (forgot to put my pedometer on it was a bad day for walking I would guess2-3 miles)
Friday:4.5
I usually do my Monday 10mile route with another mother but missed it this week as Madame had her second set of immunizations. I have however on most days picked up the pack and am doing my miles faster, I think this is a result of putting Madame's pushchair in the upright position, it allowed me to have better posture and really have a go of it. I am back to my 10 mile route this Monday and really looking forward to it. I have also started looking into a group called Pushy Mothers which uses a trainer and incorporates more than just walking such as squats and other exercises.
Eating Better
The more fruit goal it still not going too well. I can't eat whole apples due to my front teeth being bonded and as I have little time to "prep" fruit i.e. peel, or chop. A lot of fruit is on my I like it but don't have time list. I have been eating plums and been getting some kiwis in as well. I have though been filtering out the crap and adding in more lean protein adding salads to almost every dinner and bulking up the "nutritious" part of my meals to use up my points. I have some white rice and pasta to use up in the cupboards and then I am looking at switching to brown rice and whole wheat pasta. I have also decided to use some of my extra points on food that in the past I have considered "sinful" but on some thought not as "sinful" and full of crap as a chocolate bar, say a small portion of cheese on things.
This week after tracking all but one meal that I ate at a friends house and couldn't really ask for nutritional information and working really hard on getting out to do at least 5miles a day I was able to loose 3lbs including the pound I gained last week which brings me down to 178lbs a total loss of 8lbs.
Walking:
Saturday: 0 (I spent the day at a crafting crop and didn't bother to put my pedometer on)
Sunday: 6.7
Monday: 5.2
Tuesday: 4.0
Wednesday: 5.5
Thursday: 0 (forgot to put my pedometer on it was a bad day for walking I would guess2-3 miles)
Friday:4.5
I usually do my Monday 10mile route with another mother but missed it this week as Madame had her second set of immunizations. I have however on most days picked up the pack and am doing my miles faster, I think this is a result of putting Madame's pushchair in the upright position, it allowed me to have better posture and really have a go of it. I am back to my 10 mile route this Monday and really looking forward to it. I have also started looking into a group called Pushy Mothers which uses a trainer and incorporates more than just walking such as squats and other exercises.
Eating Better
The more fruit goal it still not going too well. I can't eat whole apples due to my front teeth being bonded and as I have little time to "prep" fruit i.e. peel, or chop. A lot of fruit is on my I like it but don't have time list. I have been eating plums and been getting some kiwis in as well. I have though been filtering out the crap and adding in more lean protein adding salads to almost every dinner and bulking up the "nutritious" part of my meals to use up my points. I have some white rice and pasta to use up in the cupboards and then I am looking at switching to brown rice and whole wheat pasta. I have also decided to use some of my extra points on food that in the past I have considered "sinful" but on some thought not as "sinful" and full of crap as a chocolate bar, say a small portion of cheese on things.
Wednesday, 13 October 2010
ChChChanges
Over two year ago I joined Weight Watchers and posted this post. With the exception of my pregnancy I spent most of that two years with the same group and love the mainly ladies and a guy or two I see every week at my Wednesday evening meeting. After Madame was born I was itching to get back not just to loose weight but to catch up with all the ladies and have the friendships back.
In my mind Madame would just seamlessly fit in with the 7.15-8.15 meeting. I could take her feed her if needed during the meeting and if she fell asleep put her down in her car seat and carry her into her crib when we got home. I laugh at this thought now, Madame LOVES having a routine and that routine starts at 5.30 and she is asleep sometime between 6 and 7 depending on how tired she is and if she gets wind with her last feeding. This would still allow me time to make it to my meeting if my husband did not work late 90% of the time and not get home to watch Madame.
After much thought and deciding that Madame's routine was the most important thing and the benefits for her out weighed my selfish desire to stay with the group I had come to know and love. I have spoken with my leader and she does a morning meeting on Fridays and this Friday Madame and I will be attending.
I am not much good at carrying over from Friday to Wednesday so weigh in Wednesdays is no more. I am thinking something like Fitness Fridays or something on Saturdays. Last Thursday and Fridays mileage was 7.2 miles both days and I will start from last Saturday's mileage when when I post on Friday so it runs a week at a time.
In my mind Madame would just seamlessly fit in with the 7.15-8.15 meeting. I could take her feed her if needed during the meeting and if she fell asleep put her down in her car seat and carry her into her crib when we got home. I laugh at this thought now, Madame LOVES having a routine and that routine starts at 5.30 and she is asleep sometime between 6 and 7 depending on how tired she is and if she gets wind with her last feeding. This would still allow me time to make it to my meeting if my husband did not work late 90% of the time and not get home to watch Madame.
After much thought and deciding that Madame's routine was the most important thing and the benefits for her out weighed my selfish desire to stay with the group I had come to know and love. I have spoken with my leader and she does a morning meeting on Fridays and this Friday Madame and I will be attending.
I am not much good at carrying over from Friday to Wednesday so weigh in Wednesdays is no more. I am thinking something like Fitness Fridays or something on Saturdays. Last Thursday and Fridays mileage was 7.2 miles both days and I will start from last Saturday's mileage when when I post on Friday so it runs a week at a time.
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